The Big Day
A man is hurrying to get to a wedding in his car. He keeps encountering stops along the way like slow drivers and a train. Meanwhile the bride is getting dressed up and ready to get married. When the preacher says "Speak now or forever hold your peace", the man in the car enters the church to object.
Who: Bride (Sally) Groom (Billy) Driver (Bob) Dad (Joe)
What: Bob drives to Sally and Billy's wedding
When: Rainy day in the fall
Where: Church
Why: Bob doesn't want Sally to marry Billy
How: Bob tries to stop the wedding
winding road, driving fast and in a hurry, it's raining, wind shield wipers are being used, bridesmaids are helping the bride get ready, bride is fidgeting with her ring, driver checking the time, driver gets stuck behind a slow driver, father of the bride checking the time and the door, bride looking out the window, driver has to stop for a train, driver finally gets to the church and enters right when the preacher says "speak now or forever hold your peace", the bride looks down and the groom looks directly at the guy with a slight look of anger and annoyance.
Story
It was a rainy afternoon in the middle of nowhere and Sally was being prepped for her wedding by her bridesmaids. She was about to marry her boyfriend of exactly one month. "I was actually very nervous to get married," Sally said. "I was scared. I didn't know if it was the right choice at that moment." A couple weeks before, Sally had called up her ex boyfriend, Bob, and proposed a plan to him. "I was driving to the wedding to object," Bob explained. "I thought it was a risk but it seemed worth it."
Bob was on his way there when it started pouring rain. "I didn't know it was going to rain but thank God I was driving my brand new Jetta VR6! It has everything I need to be prepared for crazy weather!" Bob said. Unfortunately, he got stuck behind a very slow driver. He had nothing to do but change lanes and keep going. He then reached some train tracks which led to him having to wait for the train to go by. He was falling a little behind on timing, but he kept up the speed and raced to the church.
At the church, Billy was talking with his friends. He was nervous but felt pretty confident about how the ceremony would go down. Meanwhile, Sally was freaking out. She wasn't sure if her plan would work or if Bob would even show up. Her dad, Joe, got up then and went to the window. Just days before, Sally had told Joe about her plan with Bob. Joe was skeptical but thought it was worth a shot. He wasn't too fond of Billy, and didn't think he was a good match for his daughter. The rain was pouring down outside while he scanned the road for a brand new Jetta VR6. He knew that the car was equipped with everything Bob needed to be prepared for crazy weather like this. He would be there in no time.
People started to file into the church and take their seats. Sally peeked out the door of the room she was in, and looked at everyone. She was starting to regret inviting so many people. Billy was already at the alter. Sally grasped her father's arm and the music started to play. By the time she reached the alter, she was shaking.
"Speak now or forever hold your peace." The preacher said. Bob rushed in and looked directly at Sally. Billy and Sally both turned around to see Bob standing there, out of breath. Sally immediately looked down. Billy was upset but not surprised. "We had been together for one month and all she did was talk about her ex, Bob, the whole time." He said after the interruption. "I figured out what Sally had done when she looked down when Bob arrived. The nerve of some people. I was ready to pounce. It was so aggravating but I kept my cool for show."
The guests were shocked. They weren't sure what to do. Sally walked down the aisle to Bob. She made one last turn and then ran out the door.
Since the wedding, Billy and Sally got a "divorce".
Interview with Sally
Were you excited to get married?
I was actually very nervous to get married.
Why were you fidgeting with the ring on your finger?
I was scared to get married. I didn't know if it was the right choice at that moment.
Did you know that Bob would show up?
Yes I had known. It was my plan.
Interview with Billy
How long had you and Sally been together before you proposed?
We had been together for one month and all she did was talk about her ex, Bob, the whole time.
Did you know that Sally had asked Bob to object to the wedding?
I figured it out when i saw her look down when Bob arrived. The nerve of some people.
What went through your mind when you saw him standing there?
I was ready to pounce. It was aggravating but I kept cool, for show.
Interview with Bob
Why were you driving to Sally's wedding?
I was driving to the wedding to object.
Was the weather an inconvenience?
I didn't know it was going to rain but thank God I was driving my brand new Jetta VR6! It has everything I need to be prepared for crazy weather! Plus I had to stop for a train, and of course slow drivers are a hassle.
When she proposed her plan to you, what were you thinking?
I thought it was a risk, but it seemed worth it.
Were you scared to go into that church?
I was scared to go in but I knew it was the right choice.
Who: Bride (Sally) Groom (Billy) Driver (Bob) Dad (Joe)
What: Bob drives to Sally and Billy's wedding
When: Rainy day in the fall
Where: Church
Why: Bob doesn't want Sally to marry Billy
How: Bob tries to stop the wedding
winding road, driving fast and in a hurry, it's raining, wind shield wipers are being used, bridesmaids are helping the bride get ready, bride is fidgeting with her ring, driver checking the time, driver gets stuck behind a slow driver, father of the bride checking the time and the door, bride looking out the window, driver has to stop for a train, driver finally gets to the church and enters right when the preacher says "speak now or forever hold your peace", the bride looks down and the groom looks directly at the guy with a slight look of anger and annoyance.
Story
It was a rainy afternoon in the middle of nowhere and Sally was being prepped for her wedding by her bridesmaids. She was about to marry her boyfriend of exactly one month. "I was actually very nervous to get married," Sally said. "I was scared. I didn't know if it was the right choice at that moment." A couple weeks before, Sally had called up her ex boyfriend, Bob, and proposed a plan to him. "I was driving to the wedding to object," Bob explained. "I thought it was a risk but it seemed worth it."
Bob was on his way there when it started pouring rain. "I didn't know it was going to rain but thank God I was driving my brand new Jetta VR6! It has everything I need to be prepared for crazy weather!" Bob said. Unfortunately, he got stuck behind a very slow driver. He had nothing to do but change lanes and keep going. He then reached some train tracks which led to him having to wait for the train to go by. He was falling a little behind on timing, but he kept up the speed and raced to the church.
At the church, Billy was talking with his friends. He was nervous but felt pretty confident about how the ceremony would go down. Meanwhile, Sally was freaking out. She wasn't sure if her plan would work or if Bob would even show up. Her dad, Joe, got up then and went to the window. Just days before, Sally had told Joe about her plan with Bob. Joe was skeptical but thought it was worth a shot. He wasn't too fond of Billy, and didn't think he was a good match for his daughter. The rain was pouring down outside while he scanned the road for a brand new Jetta VR6. He knew that the car was equipped with everything Bob needed to be prepared for crazy weather like this. He would be there in no time.
People started to file into the church and take their seats. Sally peeked out the door of the room she was in, and looked at everyone. She was starting to regret inviting so many people. Billy was already at the alter. Sally grasped her father's arm and the music started to play. By the time she reached the alter, she was shaking.
"Speak now or forever hold your peace." The preacher said. Bob rushed in and looked directly at Sally. Billy and Sally both turned around to see Bob standing there, out of breath. Sally immediately looked down. Billy was upset but not surprised. "We had been together for one month and all she did was talk about her ex, Bob, the whole time." He said after the interruption. "I figured out what Sally had done when she looked down when Bob arrived. The nerve of some people. I was ready to pounce. It was so aggravating but I kept my cool for show."
The guests were shocked. They weren't sure what to do. Sally walked down the aisle to Bob. She made one last turn and then ran out the door.
Since the wedding, Billy and Sally got a "divorce".
Interview with Sally
Were you excited to get married?
I was actually very nervous to get married.
Why were you fidgeting with the ring on your finger?
I was scared to get married. I didn't know if it was the right choice at that moment.
Did you know that Bob would show up?
Yes I had known. It was my plan.
Interview with Billy
How long had you and Sally been together before you proposed?
We had been together for one month and all she did was talk about her ex, Bob, the whole time.
Did you know that Sally had asked Bob to object to the wedding?
I figured it out when i saw her look down when Bob arrived. The nerve of some people.
What went through your mind when you saw him standing there?
I was ready to pounce. It was aggravating but I kept cool, for show.
Interview with Bob
Why were you driving to Sally's wedding?
I was driving to the wedding to object.
Was the weather an inconvenience?
I didn't know it was going to rain but thank God I was driving my brand new Jetta VR6! It has everything I need to be prepared for crazy weather! Plus I had to stop for a train, and of course slow drivers are a hassle.
When she proposed her plan to you, what were you thinking?
I thought it was a risk, but it seemed worth it.
Were you scared to go into that church?
I was scared to go in but I knew it was the right choice.
Remember that your quotations need to be on their own paragraphs and not part of the same paragraph as the transition statement. It was a sequential story and I think this story probably should have been written in a way that the ending came out sooner than the very end. Always stick with last names as much as possible. First names are hard to follow in a newspaper story. You do have to go to first names when you have people with the same last name. Not bad, but you missed a couple of key components to the structure and style of news stories.
ReplyDelete